Grief? I do not know how to navigate through you...

On October 11, 2015 one of my closest childhood friends committed suicide. No matter what anyone is going through, you never think this will happen. Her death has devastated me and changed so much in my life. I miss her everyday. It has been over 2 months since her death and I am still trying to navigate through my feelings and grief. I have had death in my family and death of family friends, but this was different. Maybe it is because of the circumstances surrounding her death, the unanswered questions, or the guilt I feel for not doing enough, I am not entirely sure. But I do know that my dear friend was 32 years young and is not here on this earth to experience anything new with her daughter, family, friends. I am here, living my life, experiencing new things and she is gone. She is a constant in my heart and mind, but some days are harder than others when the reality hits me. I know that so many navigate through grief on a daily basis, taking it "5 minutes at a time" (as my friend would say), and I am navigating through my grief at my pace, my way. I know missing her will never get easier, I just wish I could give her one last hug and tell her I'm there for her one more time. I miss you my sweet Grace, so much. You are so, so missed and loved by so many!